05 December 2007

cover song roundup

guys these are some of my favorite cover songs that I am going to share with you.

1. Paint It Black
Original by The Rolling Stones:
The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

Cover by Marie Laforêt:
Marie Laforêt - Paint It Black

2. Fantasy
Original by Mariah Carey:
Mariah Carey - Fantasy

Cover by Final Fantasy:
Final Fantasy - Fantasy (Live)

3. Hey Jude
Original by The Beatles:
The Beatles - Hey Jude

Cover by Mutato Muzika Orchestra:
Mutato Muzika Orchestra - Hey Jude

4. Ruby Tuesday
Original by The Rolling Stones:
The Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday

Cover by Franco Battiato:
Franco Battiato - Ruby Tuesday

5. Golden Slumbers
Original by The Beatles:
The Beatles - Golden Slumbers

Cover by Ben Folds:
Ben Folds - Golden Slumbers

6. Melt With You
Original by Modern English:
Modern English - Melt With You

Cover by Nouvelle Vague:
Nouvelle Vague - Melt With You

7. Baker Street
Original by Gerry Rafferty:
Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street

Cover by Foo Fighters:
Foo Fighters - Baker Street

8. Peach, Plum, Pear
Original by Joanna Newsom:
Joanna Newsom - Peach, Plum, Pear

Cover by Final Fantasy:
Final Fantasy - Peach, Plum, Pear

9. Handle with Care
Original by The Traveling Wilburys:
The Traveling Wilburys - Handle with Care

Cover by Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins with Ben Gibbard, M. Ward, and Conor Oberst:
Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Handle with Care (with Ben Gibbard, M. Ward, and Conor Oberst)

10. Owner of a Lonely Heart
Original by Yes:
Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart

Cover by Grizzly Bear:
Grizzly Bear - Owner of a Lonely Heart

11. Kokomo
Original by The Beach Boys:
The Beach Boys - Kokomo

Cover by The Muppets:
The Muppets - Kokomo

12. All The Young Dudes
Original by Mott the Hoople:
Mott the Hoople - All The Young Dudes

Cover by World Party:
World Party - All The Young Dudes

13. Wildwood Flower
Original by June Carter Cash:
June Carter Cash - Wildwood Flower

Cover by Reese Witherspoon:
Reese Witherspoon - Wildwood Flower

14. Where Did Our Love Go?
Original by Diana Ross and the Supremes:
Diana Ross and the Supremes - Where Did Our Love Go?

Cover by Soft Cell:
Soft Cell - Where Did Our Love Go?

15. Earth Angel
Original by The Penguins:
The Penguins - Earth Angel

Cover by Death Cab for Cutie:
Death Cab for Cutie - Earth Angel

16. All is Full of Love
Original by Bjork:
Bjork - All is Full of Love

Cover by Death Cab for Cutie:
Death Cab for Cutie - All is Full of Love

17. Running Up That Hill
Original by Kate Bush:
Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill

Cover by Placebo:
Placebo - Running Up That Hill

18. If You Leave
Original by OMD:
OMD - If You Leave

Cover by Nada Surf:
Nada Surf - If You Leave

19. Here Comes the Sun
Original by The Beatles:
The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun

Cover by Paul Simon and George Harrison:
Paul Simon and George Harrison - Here Comes the Sun (Live)

20. Bridges and Balloons
Original by Joanna Newsom:
Joanna Newsom - Bridges and Balloons

Cover by The Decemberists:

The Decemberists - Bridges and Balloons

21. Age of Consent
Original by New Order:
New Order - Age of Consent

Cover by Kevin Drew:
Kevin Drew - Age of Consent


26 November 2007

Good afternoon

I think my favorite part about orange tic tacs are that they are very sneaky. I say this because they are advertised as a "mint." Granted, spearmint, freshmint, and wintergreen tic tacs should be regarded as "mints" because that is what they are. You know, I would go the extra step and say that cinnamon is also regarded as a "mint" because it is a popular gum flavor and is also a flavor of toothpaste. Citrus twist I believe is a "mint" because they are lemony and limey and I feel as though lemon-lime flavor is typically regarded as "fresh" which is a word that also goes with "mint." Also none of the above flavors are very delicious. Tasty, but not very delicious. Orange tic tacs are not "mints." In no world is orange regarded as "mint." You might try to use my citrus twist argument against my orange argument, but think about it. While orange is accept as a citrus fruit, what does one tend to think of when they think of citrus? That's right. Lemons. In second place would be lime. Orange might be third but that doesn't matter because who cares about third place. Even though it's incorrect, I'm perfectly willing to go with tic tac's marketing campaign of portraying orange tic tacs as "mints." This is because I can eat lots and lots of orange tic tacs without eating lots and lots of candy. I'm just enjoying many "mints."
Also orange tic tacs are very delicious so.

17 November 2007

Guys I had this plan but it didn't work

I never get hungover. This led me to believe that getting highly intoxicated hours before my flight home for Christmas break would be no problem, no sir. I even thought, hey maybe I'll still be kind of drunk, maybe I'll have fun on the plane. No.

I woke up at 9:30 panicked because I hadn't done a whole lot in the way of packing and my flight was at 11:15. I stumbled around a lot partially blind because I had slept with my contacts in and it took me a while to remember this. I called a cab and was out of the room by 10, but found a SCAD bus right outside my door. I forgot about that cab. Uh oh well. Anyway it was one of those school bus ones and was, you know, considerably bumpy. Oftentimes I have a slight issue with motion sickness. It usually doesn't kick in until I'm still after moving for a long time, but this time, oh...this time was different. I threw up in my hand. I have never done that before. I didn't think people actually did that. A gigantic woman who was hitching a ride to the airport via her friend our bus driver was sitting next to me. I tapped her on her shoulder and when she saw me, pale, glassy-eyed, with vomit seeping through my fingers she screamed. Not only did she scream but she jumped away from me and towards the trash can at the front of the bus, which she threw at me. She spent the rest of the ride sitting on the steps at the front of the bus and I got the seat to myself.
I got to the airport, waited in line for security for 30 minutes, and was the last one on the plane. I felt really shitty and called the flight attendant and asked where the bathroom was. She told me and asked me if I was okay. I smiled at her because I was afraid if I opened my mouth to lie to her I would just cover her in vomit. I hung out in the bathroom, reading all the little signs and waiting to throw up, but I never did. I started to feel better and the flight was only 45 minutes so I figured I'd probably be fine until I landed in North Carolina. So I sat back down and about five minutes later there was a rush of heat in my throat and I grabbed that little white baggy in the seat in front of me and threw up BIG TIME. I don't know what I was throwing up. At this point all I had consumed over the last 16 hours was Arbor Mist. I assumed I was throwing up in the bag I was holding, but as it turns out the bag had folded in on itself and I was actually throwing up on myself. And when I mean throwing up on myself, I'm really not exaggerating in the least.
Things I threw up on:
My shoes
My legs
My skirt
My jacket
My shirt
My bra
My hair
My chin
The general mouth area
Luckily the plane was so loud no one heard me and the two guys sitting next to me were sleeping. When I realized I had not thrown up in the bag and all over myself, however, I knew I pretty much had to get help, so I called for the flight attendant again. This super nice guy came up to me. God I felt bad for him.
FLIGHT MAN: Hey, hon! What's u...OH. OH OKAY. HOLD ON HONEY.
I didn't say a word, I just sat there covered in my own vomit, my eye makeup from the night before smeared down my face, looking generally pathetic. Of course once the flight attendant reacted this way, it made the group of people around me turn to stare. And I just stared at them back, because what the fuck. The flight attendants came and helped me clean myself up and gave me ginger ale and offered to help me walk through the airport. Once I landed in Charlotte, I had to buy all new clothes to replace my vomity ones and in turn appeared to look obsessed with the state of North Carolina.

Good trip!

26 September 2007

tonight i went to taco bell with coleman

taco bell guy: so how long have you been dating?
me: about a year.
taco bell guy: about a year? are you going to go on that engaged and underaged show?

other possible answers coleman and I thought of:
"about seventeen years, okay?"
"um this is our first date."
or just make out.

06 September 2007

welcome back to savannah

so this afternoon my mom and I went to wal-mart after I moved into weston to pick up some extra stuff. this is what happened when I was in the cosmetics aisle:

A random guy holding a plastic bag (probably filled with ether and roofies) walks in front of me and says, "Hello" and keeps walking. I think this is weird.
Guy turns the corner but a few seconds later comes back down the aisle.
Guy: Excuse me, what is your name?
Me: Why?
Guy: You're pretty, that's all.
Me: Oh.
Guy: I'm oirjgfd(I couldn't tell what he said...maybe John?) (and he held out his hand)
Me: Hi (I shook it)
Guy: Listen, can I give you my number and maybe take you out sometime or something?
Me: Oh, uh, I'm 19 (he looked way older)
Guy: How old?
Me: 19.
Guy: Well I'm 18.
Me: Oh, okay, well I guess so.
Guy: Can we go someplace alone so I can give you the number?
Me: What?
Guy: Can we go someplace else?
Me: No...
Guy: Oh okay

So he wanted to get me alone in a dark corner of wal-mart to rape and murder me, right? OK good

23 August 2007

meet my bff ralph

Here is what the front of the Greeters' Etiquette Card says:
G - Greet every customer (individually or as a group)
R - Reinforce the welcome with a smile!
E - Educate the customer with the greeter card (ensure that each customer is handed the greeter card and understand the offer)
E - Educate the customer about our promotions (make sure the customer understands the promotion for the day/week)
T - Talk to the customer about the layout of the store (direct them to the zone that they have asked a question about or may be interested
The best part is the back of the card, with lists of shit I'm supposed to say to people:
Greet with energy and personality and personalize your greeting to make every customer feel welcome!
* Come in! It's a great day to shop!
* Welcome! Isn't it a beautiful day?
* Come in out of the heat/cold! It's cool/warm in here!
* Come in! We've got a lot of great products inside!
* Welcome! Have fun looking around!
* Hello! I see you already have our card - have you used one before? (if customer has current greeter card in hand)
* Hi! I see you're a Ralph Lauren fan! (if customer is wearing product)
* What a beautiful baby/girl/boy! (if customer has child with them)
* Did you have a question? How can I help?
So there is no way I will ever say any of that shit to anyone, ever. I would never say COME IN because they are already IN once I greet them. I can't tell if someone is wearing Ralph Lauren unless their shirt has a giant fucking polo player on it. No one comes in already holding the shit I'm about to shove at them. And I would never compliment someone on their child because I hate children and that child will probably jump up and down on our model bed and be, in general, a little piece of shit. Although I am tempted to literally say "heatslashcold" and "coolslashwarm" or compliment someone on their beautiful 17 year old child. But basically, I am never saying any of that. Ever.

07 June 2007

why spam is delicious

From: "achemponp david"
Subject: Please reply

Dear Friend,
I'm Prince KOFFI ACHEMPONG, the son
of his royal highness NANA
the Ashante Kingdom in Ghana.
As part of our royalty, our royal
family is entitle to some % of the
gold mined in the Ashante kingdom,
in view of this, I have in stock
280kg of
alluvia gold dust and I’m looking
for a buyer.
Please contact me if you are
interested in my offer.
On received of your response will
forward to you the full information
the FCO.
please my number is 00233245819111
Prince Achempong.