I love porn. Most people know this about me: friends, acquaintances, classmates, professors. I somehow mention to bring it up whenever I can because it's really a great thing. And a truly great thing about porn is there is something for everyone. A single bit of porn, whether it's a full-length movie, an online video clip, a picture, a story, etc usually tries to incorporate more than one element. Example, why have a naked girl giving a naked guy a blowjob when you can go ahead and have a girl in a schoolgirl uniform giving a blowjob to a guy in a suit? There you've got the original goodness of a blowjob with some teacher-student fantasy thrown in for good measure. And really, a porn film is not that different from a standard film. It's hard to find a movie that is completely without fail strictly one genre: a horror movie without any comedy, a comedy without any poignancy, things like that. So it only makes sense that a porn film incorporates more than one genre, it's just that a genre of porn isn't quite the same as a genre of standard film. No matter the plot (if there is one), your average run-of-the-mill heterosexual porn film will almost always contain: oral, vaginal, and anal sex along with a lesbian scene (if the movie knows what it's doing).
I watch a lot of porn. That and everything else being said, watching a lot of porn comes with stumbling across things I don't like nestled in something larger that I do like. I know these elements aren't just there for the hell of it; they do something for somebody. Just not me.
In no particular order, here are some things I hate coming across when trying to enjoy porn:
- Heel sucking. I really don't mind shoe licking. It's not the greatest thing ever, but it doesn't take me out of the moment. What does take me out of the moment is heel sucking. I understand the phallicness of a stiletto heel seems hard to pass up, but when I see this (almost exclusively in lesbian scenes) it just kind of grosses me out. It's a heel, so you know it's not that sanitary. And it's pointy, which just seems dangerous and much more gag-inducing than a penis. It's just kind of gross.
- Giant fucking (usually plastic) shoes. Having sex with shoes on is not unheard of. In porn it can actually be hot (a cheerleader still wearing sneakers comes to mind). But those are only certain situations. In other situations, most situations, having sex while wearing giant, ugly, painful shoes just does not make sense. Wearing them at all hardly makes any sense, but having sex with them on? That's just stupid and implausible, really.
- The wearer of a strapon moaning in pleasure from the strapon getting sucked. This used to just be really confusing to me. I wasn't sure how a strapon worked and I assumed there must something hidden on the other side that, when there is pressure from the attached dildo being sucked, provides pleasure. And maybe that is true on some level, in that the pressure can be pleasureful for the wearer. But it's not a blowjob. It's a strapon, not a penis. Seeing it get sucked might be hot, and yeah sure maybe you moan a little or whatever because of the hotness. But moaning and thrashing around as if it was actual oral sex instead of oral sex performed on a piece of plastic attached to you? Stupid.
- Holding onto a neck during a blowjob.This is an element that I've seen come up in both straight and gay porn and always bothers me. Granted, I know that a good number of people think it's hot, especially since it's usually accompanied with rough sex. But having personally been on the chokee's end, seeing it just reminds me of how shitty it feels to have a hand around your throat while you're extremely preoccupied with a penis going down said throat already.
That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure I'll think of more some other time, but I've done enough damage for one post.
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